Duck Races, a short story

When I wake up, Mom's already awake. Not terribly uncommon, nor is the fact that she's singing. Off-key and off-beat, with words she's substituting in that fit her mood. She can sing pretty, but she doesn't usually make the effort.

I emerge from my bedroom swaddled against the morning crispness in a robe and slippers. My hair is wreaking revenge for the fact that I teased it for last night's game, and is currently smashed on one side and billowing out the other. It looks like a drunken steeple that's lilting off the side of my head. I make my way to the kitchen, where Mom is standing at the counter, washing dishes. She's also in her pajamas--embarrassingly a Hello Kitty set with matching robe and slippers. As though she were fifteen and not forty-five. I'm about to comment when I see the Thermos waiting patiently on the counter to be washed. I look at the calendar. That's right; it's the Duck Races.

The Duck Races are a local milestone, the first event of autumn. The Rotary Club sells tickets for two months beforehand, five dollars apiece. Each ticket gets you one yellow rubber duck. All the ducks with your ticket numbers on them are loaded into a huge Dumpster, lifted over the frigid Columbia River via crane, and then unloaded into the water. The ducks float down-current, and the first few to cross the finish line win their owners sweet prizes. The prizes are donated by local businesses, and the money goes to charity, but it's the event to be at. Everyone is there, newly swaddled in light jackets and scarves, maybe even a hat and mittens if the October morning is bleak enough. There are vendors and games and about a million kids running around, their hands and faces sticky with cotton candy and candy apples and whatever else they can get their parents' wallets to open up for. The weather today looks bright and crisp, though the weather man was forecasting highs in the upper seventies last night. The sky is immaculately clear, and reminds me of a stained glass window that the sun is pressing up against.

"I got this Thermos for five dollars at the Value Village before you were even born," Mom says when she sees I'm up. She cradles it like Vanna White displaying the latest prize on the Wheel of Fortune. I've heard the story a million times, and while it grates to hear it every year, I love that Thermos. It's full of good memories, and promises of moments of my family spending time together. My mom busts it out for Duck Races and puts it away after Easter every year. In between time, it's seen at football games, the Winter Carnival, the Christmas Boat Parade, the Christmas Eve bonfire that my parents host every year, and myriad events in between. I can't help the grin that splits my face as I lean up to kiss her on the cheek.

"I'm gonna go shower and get ready," I say. "This is the year my duck's gonna win."

"Good, because we could use a new firepit for Christmas Eve," she counters, then returns to washing dishes.

Facebook no more

There's a general unrest in the land of Facebook these days. I think Google+ may have unearthed it originally, but Facebook itself has done the best job of excavating it and polishing it off with its new changes--especially the unfinished mobile app. I mean, really, who accesses Facebook on their PC anymore? People are starting to wonder why they have a PC in the first place at this point... Until they have to write a paper or something. Though even then, you can hook a keyboard up to an iPad...

Remember the early days of the migration of social networking on the internet? When it first started taking off, first started being available to most households (insert sound of dialup here), there was the Bulletin Board Systems, rudimentary DOS-based chat rooms. People were content with these kind of things, basic conversations with mostly strangers about a variety of topics. Then they became overrun by trolls, and people wanted a personal touch. So the solution? Everyone learned HTML. At least everyone in my circle.

That's right, a lot of people had their own webpages on Angelfire or Yahoo or another free site. Sometimes they would help you make your website, but those weren't nearly as fun as making them yourself. Creating the little buttons in Paint that said About Me or My Friends. Uploading everything ten items at a time on the slow dial-up. Sitting back and relaxing and marveling at your genius. Linking to your friends' webpages and checking them out, too. And then came along a different kind of item: MySpace.

It was like everyone could have their own uniform webpage. You could change the background color, add a song that would automatically play on startup, but there was still the basic formula: You would make posts, long or short, and upload pictures, and then link to your friends' MySpace pages. Click on them daily to read their posts and look at their pictures. You could even use it for online dating if you preferred (and I did, once!). And then a strange thing happened... Everyone started vacating MySpace. Using something new called Facebook.

I didn't really like Facebook at first. I resisted. Microblogging didn't seem the way of the future. We had been conditioned by all the previous formats to be long-winded and expressive. We could rhapsodize about any given topic, though of course we all had our favorites. And yet, Facebook took hold. And alongside it, Twitter, which was even more microscopic. We were becoming a society that was addicted to the news bite, no matter how mundane. We needed the constant feed of what was happening in everyone else's life. Rarely was it earth-shaking or insightful. Triviality was the name of the game. By casting this global net for every acquaintance ever formed, we had made our world microscopic, a cesspool of narcissism that self-perpetuated.

And now Facebook is self-destructing. Google+ is waiting to pick up the pieces, but quite frankly, it's more of the same. We need something different. Something outreaching. Something global that will wake us up and shake us from our micro-communities. Allow us to break through to new insight, or at least new viewpoints. We have been minimized to the point that we cannot shorten our thought processes any further. Is the solution going back to blogging? Is it sites like livingsocial.com, that uproot us from our computer chairs altogether? I don't know, but I do know it's not going to be Facebook in disguise, no matter how much Google wants to think they've streamlined or improved the process.

719 Grosscup Blvd

Here it is, folks! The One.

We went on Wednesday to look at a house in Central Richland that had three bedrooms and one bathroom with either a formal dining room or a separate sitting room, on a lot and a half. The owner's son was living in it along with like three pitbulls and two kids who called him by his first name. They had completely destroyed the place, all the woodwork chewed by the dogs and the carpet ripped apart. The master bedroom was painted black with black light posters on the walls, and a black light in the closet. It had cool features, like a brick bar in the sunken living room, and a water feature in the back yard. But it was just trashed, thanks to the deadbeat tenant.

Then the real estate agent started talking about how that house was half of a pair on the market from the same owner. The second house was in West Richland, and the owners had bought it from the bank to fix up for themselves. They had gotten around to the fixing up part, but never wound up moving into it. Instead, for whatever reason, they put it back on the market. So we went to see it.

As we were walking up to the house, I remember saying that I just wanted a normal house. You know, one that was like our apartment, only with an extra bedroom and a separate dining room. Not one with weird bedrooms and horrible basements, that smelled like cigarette smoke or dogs or old people. Then we walked into this house.

It's very nicely fixed up. It does only have one bathroom, but three bathrooms. All appliances are included, even the stacked washer and dryer. It has a large garage that we will likely use as a den for Ian's game nights. It has a decent-sized fenced backyard, with a little cement slab that we can use for a patio until we build a porch. It's like five blocks from the elementary school in a straight line up the street, and two blocks from a little park. It's three blocks off Van Giesen, so the commute won't be bad, either. In other words, it's two shades from perfect. :)

Now, without further ado... The house:

Nice little bathroom

Living room, dining room, and the edge of the kitchen

Little kitchen. Notice the presence of a dishwasher. :)

View of the house from the street. Huge pine tree in front, with a little oak on the corner. Yes, it IS a corner lot!!

That's all the pictures I have. Well, actually, I took more, but they're all terrible. These are all internet pictures. But you get the picture. :-P

Next up: Close date - September 10th. And two moving dates!

House Update

Well, we've seen a few houses since our last update. There was a gorgeous house that was done to the nines in West Richland for $129,900 that had three bedrooms and a garage. And another house in Richland Village for $130,000 that was two bedrooms, but had a full basement and a garage. But still not quite what we're looking for.

Things going as they are, I think we're looking to stay in Richland. We're gonna give the hunt another week, we think, then renew our lease and come back at a higher price point. Ian and I both just got raises, so maybe we'll find something that's move-in ready in Richland. Something that doesn't need the work that these other houses need. I don't mind putting in a little elbow grease, but it WOULD be easier if we didn't have to worry about it. If all we had to think about was what color we had to paint to personalize. It'd be so nice to just be able to put our dishes in the cupboards, our couch in the living room, and our barbecue in the backyard and have people over without having to worry about anything.

Like I said, we're gonna take a week more to look.

23 S Underwood

Sorry about the delay, folks. My new computer doesn't have a slot for the camera memory card, so I have to wait for Ian to upload the pictures and share them with me. In the week since I last posted, we have actually seen three houses. No, one of them was not 1803 Thompson. That one the owner never got back to us due to an illness, and we found out that while it was two bedrooms, the rooms were on different floors--not conducive to a new family. So we passed on that one. The other two we saw were 95 Goethals (no off-street parking, little hot yard, and one of the bedrooms was very small and disappointing) and 1622 S Everett Place (small yard with no fence, and the previous owners had a weird habit of just building shelves over unwanted doorways). We didn't even bother taking pictures at Everett Place, but I have a few of the Goethals house that I might post later.

But on with the real prize... 23 S Underwood!

I fell in love with this house the instant my coworker Christy showed it to me. I never would have looked at it if she hadn't pointed it out. It's got this beautiful 1950s exterior and a metal roof. Many of the windows have been replaced with vinyl, though not all. Central heat and air have been installed throughout, though there's still a wall A/C unit and they didn't bother to remove the wall heating units, though they're not hooked up. There's ugly carpet throughout, but underneath much of it is the original hardwood floors. There are three bedrooms and 1 1/2 bath, where the 1/2 bath is SOOOO ready for a shower, it just needs a basin and a shower head. The kitchen has the start of a remodel that just never got finished. There's a giant backyard with a nice old-growth maple and a covered patio. There's room for our future hot tub, and room for many parties. I can even imagine our baby getting married out there. There is lots of work to be done, but for our list of dream houses, this one fulfills so much, we knew we had to try for it.

So, without further ado, here it is:


Walk in the front door and the living room is off to the right. Yes, those ARE fluorescent lights on the ceiling! Don't worry, we're looking forward to revamping things in the 30 years to come. :)






Here's the little dining nook to the left of the front door. That doorway you see leads to the kitchen. We'll get to that later.







First bedroom in the original part of the house. Left window looks out over the covered patio... lots of potential to add French doors leading out to the deck someday!! Right window looks out onto the backyard.





Second bedroom in the original part of the house. Little window looks out onto the backyard, big window looks into the side yard, which currently boasts weeds taller than I am!






Very mod bathroom in the original part of the house.











Here's the little kitchen. As you can see, there's new sink, new oven, kinda older fridge, and some new cabinets. Some cabinets have the original doors, and some cabinets have no doors at all!






Here's where the dishwasher will go, but there are currently no hookups. Beyond that is the second living area.










Very stylish second half-to-almost-three-quarters bathroom









And here's the really-wants-to-be-a-shower







Kitchen cabinets looking into the second living area in the addition onto the house.







Third bedroom in the addition. That window is the one under the carport in the front of the house.







Big back patio, very nicely done.








Looking out onto the back of the house.








Big backyard, fenced all the way around. We could get a dog right away if we weren't facing the threat of five cats. Yikes!







Overgrown side yard. There's the cooling system buried somewhere in there. This is where my garden is going to go next spring. :)





So we put an offer on the house. We asked for $124,500 with the seller paying $4,500 in closing costs. We're supposed to hear back any time now. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Next up: Counteroffer?

1310 Birch

The house we saw today was 1310 Birch. It's also a Richland Letter House, a Y house. Ian's mom's house is a Y house, so we're pretty familiar with the basic concept. This one had some notable updates, though. The living room/dining room has been opened up into one room, and utility room has been eliminated to make one large kitchen with a little eat-in nook. A portion of the living room has been removed to add space to the third bedroom, so that the little closet that used to be in the living room to the side of the front door is now the closet in the third bedroom. Pergo floors have been laid throughout the whole house, the lighting fixtures updated, and new paint applied to the walls. Except in the bedrooms. The bedrooms are mildly hideous. The carpet in the two largest rooms is pretty filthy, and there is no carpet in the third bedroom, just the concrete slab that the whole house sits on. And the paint choices in the third bedroom left something to be desired.

The other drawbacks to the house were mostly on the outside: The backyard had no tree, it looked like it had been cut down. The driveway needed to be repaved. The whole of the yards needed to be weed-whacked, tilled, and reseeded/sodded. The paint on the trim needed to be redone, and there was a patch on the roof that looked possibly warped. That's the thing that worried us the most.

Also, the house had no central heat & air, just baseboard heat and AC units in most of the windows.

All in all, though, if the roof passed the inspection, this would probably be our top choice. It's about four blocks from Kathy's house, and would feed into Jason Lee Elementary. The back yard is huge and has a six-foot fence around the whole thing save one little section into the neighbor's yard. Plus the repair work would be entirely doable. We could use the two carpeted bedrooms while we fix up the third room. And it's big enough that we could comfortably be there for the rest of our lives.

Provided, of course, that there's no roof problems.


Front door. It's been delineated from the living room by this little wall. Why? Dunno.






Living room. Great paint colors.










If two different colors aren't enough for the living room, there's a third to add into the mix. The good thing this does show is that there's an extra window in the living room.





Kitchen. This is all the cabinets/counters there are.








Unfinished countertops.








Little dining nook








Gap between trim and Pergo floors.








Bathroom.








Standard Bedroom #1: The equivalent of Ian's childhood bedroom. The previous owners really liked red and brown together.






Standard Bedroom #2: The equivalent of Ian's mom's room. Not as bad, though needs a good scrub.







Third bedroom. And you thought the red and brown was bad.









Hole in the concrete floor.







Back yard with little garden shed.









Back of the house. I love the French doors. :)







Questionable patch job on the roof.







Next up: 1803 Thompson

1924 Everest

This house was in north Richland, a neighborhood referred to as Richland Village. Apparently, this neighborhood was built in the 1950s, and the houses are all pretty good. Except for this one.

The previous owners obviously bought the house and didn't have much money to invest into it. There's a pergola over the front porch, and since this didn't provide enough shade, they stapled some plastic lattice over it. This is the same lattice you see under the porch. The yard is overgrown, and there's a weeping birch that hasn't done anything as far as leaves this year. It looks like there used to be a garage on the right side, but it was converted into additional living room/dining room area.

The first thing we noticed when we walked in was the overwhelming stench of cat urine. The carpet was stained and filthy, and there was debris everywhere. The linoleum, where there was any, was ancient and starting to curl up at the edges. When the real estate agent tried peeling up the carpet to see if there was hardwood underneath, the first time she said the carpet was damp (bad sign) and the second time, she was assaulted by spiders.

The bright spot of the house was the master suite. Not only was it vast, but it had a full-sized bathroom, a walk-in closet, and prettyish frosted windows. The backyard had a two-car garage that opened out onto George Washington Way, the town's busiest street. Also in the back, the chain-link fence on the south side was being held up by various sticks and stakes leaned against it, lean-to like.

There was also a basement. One room had a to-code window, making it a fourth bedroom for the house (there were three upstairs), but other than that, the basement was the thing nightmares are made of. Painted concrete, the creepiest laundry room ever, and a stench of mold throughout. The stairwell was very fashionable with its wood paneling.

All in all, there was so much work that needed to be done to this house, and the prices of the other houses in the neighborhood were so low, that the only possible good thing that could come of this is if a tornado struck it, someone bought the lot, and rebuilt. I honestly think it would cost too much to even tear it down to rebuild, the work was so extensive.

Grade: F-



Backyard: That apartment building is across GWay. The structure on the left is the garage. Notice the fence on the right.






Great architecture, original to the house. All additional items included in the sales price.







Dining area








Kitchen. Original cabinets, if you can believe it.








At least the bathroom didn't need TOO much work, there was just a weird little cabinet where some sort of vent from the basement fed up. (That's me looking at it with a perplexed expression.)







Basement of death






Next up: 1310 Birch